English Humor
It's very important, in a civilized country, to have law and order. But some of the laws are really dumb!! Here's a collection of dumb laws for you to read. These are real laws, but many of these laws were written a very long time ago, and they were never repealed (taken out of the lawbooks). For example:
-It is illegal for a driver to wear a blindfold while driving a car in Alabama. (Well, ok, that's a good law!)
-In New York, you have to buy a license to hang clothes on a clothesline. (Do you have to go to school, too?)
-In Michigan, alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants. (Well, where the heck am I supposed to park him, officer?)
To read these dumb laws, just click on the name of a state (in the U.S.) or the name of a country.
Your Turn:
Here's a fun game to play in class. Find a really dumb law. Now make up two dumb laws yourself. Have your classmates read the 3 dumb laws and guess which is the real one.
Don't Throw a Brick Straight Up!
Is life difficult for you sometimes? Would you like some very useful advice? This site is a "Guide to Life." It can help you. Here you will find some excellent pointers for getting through your life safely. For example:
-Don't chase a bear into the woods to get a close-up photo!
-If you want to chew gum, buy some. Don't use the gum from underneath the seats at schools and movie theaters even though it's free.
-Walking barefoot in the sand is good. Walking barefoot on a cactus is bad.
Your Turn:
After you read the advice on this page, try to write a few ideas of your own. Remember that your advice should be useful, interesting, and of course, FUNNY!
People often communicate their feelings by using their face. Facial expressions can tell us a lot about someone's true meaning. At this site, you can see Eric using his face to show a lot of different emotions.
Your Turn:
Try playing this game with your classmates: Choose one of the feelings on this site. Then try to show that emotion with your face. Can your classmates guess what feeling you're showing?
"Famous Last Words" are funny sentences that someone might say right before they die. For example:
"I wonder where the mother bear is."
"This doesn't taste right."
"These are the good kind of mushrooms."
Your Turn:
Find an interesting "Famous Last Words." Then write a short story to explain what happened right before and/or right after those famous last words were spoken, or write a story with your own "Famous Last Words."
Think back to when you were a child. What was your favorite toy? Why was it special to you? Do you still have any toys from your childhood? At this site, you'll find some very strange toys. My favorite is the "Weiner Works" ("Make your own weiners from table scraps!")
Your Turn:
Look at the small pictures of the Gobler Toys. Find one that looks interesting. What do you think it does? How does it work? Make a few notes. Now click on the toy to see the advertisement. What is the name of the toy? What does it do? Did you guess right? Do you think these are real toys or are they jokes? If you worked at a toy company, what kind of toy would you make? How would it work? Tell your classmates about your new toy.
Pet Peeves
Pet peeves are those little things in life that really annoy us! These are some of my pet peeves:
-People who cut in front of me in a line!
-Waiting a long time for my food in a restaurant!
-Using my computer when it's running really slowly!
This site has some very funny "pet peeves" cartoons. Just click on a month to see the cartoon. A new cartoon is published each month.
Your Turn:
Have everyone in your class write a list of 2 or 3 of their pet peeves. Have someone write them on the board, and then try to guess who wrote each one!
Well, actually, some of these jokes really are bad! But some of them are pretty funny, too! There are lots of jokes here. Just click on a page number to read them.
Your Turn:
Read some of these jokes. Do you understand why they are funny? If you don't, ask your classmates or teacher if they can tell you why they're funny. It might be because the word has two meanings, or it could be something related to American culture. Now think of a joke in your native language. Then try to translate it into English. Is it still funny? It might be difficult for other people to understand, if it's related to your culture or your language. Finally, make up your own joke in English. It's ok if it's a "bad" joke! Can you make your friends laugh?
This site is a funny parody. A parody can be a book, magazine, TV show or movie that makes fun of something. In this case, it's a website that makes fun of really bad websites.
Your Turn:
Read some of these pages. Do you think they are funny? Why or why not? Have you seen any really bad websites like this one?
There are many, many words in the English language. But there are still lots of things that we don't have names for! For example, what should we call all the coke, popcorn, and candy that sticks to the floor after a movie is finished? There is no name for that! Wouldn't it be useful if there was a word we could use to describe it! Well, this site has a word for it: CINEMUCK! But it's a made-up word. You won't find it in any dictionary. (Actually, lots of real words start as made-up words; for example, slang.) You'll find a long list of made-up words and their definitions at this funny site. Can you guess why they chose a certain word to describe something?
Your Turn:
Now it's your turn. Try to think of a thing or an action that doesn't have a useful word for it. Write the definition and then make up a new word! Now show the new word to your classmates and see if they can guess the meaning!
Steven Wright is an American comedian with a very "offbeat" sense of humor. He has a very unique way of looking at life. For example: "Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
Your Turn:
Read these Steven Wright jokes. Do you understand them? Do you think they're funny? Why or why not? If you feel very creative, try to write your own "Steven Wright" joke!
WorldView! Christmas Around the World (Christmas)
At this site, you can find out how people celebrate Christmas all around the world. Read about each country's traditions and customs by clicking on the country that you want to read about.
Your Turn:
How do you celebrate Christmas in your home country? Write a short report about the customs, traditions, and special events that take place in your country. Compare them with the customs in your classmates' countries.
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